Five Silly Things about Myself I Wish I Could Change

1. Snapping

I know the mechanics of snapping. My fingers perform the right motion, but when I snap it doesn’t produce much sound especially with my left hand. I would love to have a sharp, loud snap - one that commands attention. One that says “That’s right, I am one snappy snapper!”

2. Celebrity Gossip

I am not proud of this, but I can remember the dirt on celebrities. I don’t seek it, I don’t read tabloids or watch entertainment news programs, but I just pick up stuff and remember it. It is a useless ability and I wish I was as better at memorizing Bible verses or really profound quotes instead.

I don't know George Clooney. I don't even like George Clooney; but somehow I know he broke up with Sarah Larson at least a month and a half ago.

3. Exotic Cuisine

When it comes to trying an unusual dish I am a sissy! I don’t know why but I can barely muster the courage to try anything that didn’t come from the grocery store that I would normally eat. I do not want to try escargot, rabbit, tripe or even lamb. If I were more adventurous it would make my life easier when I go to France someday, but I guess I’ll just have to be a vegetarian on that trip. Do goldfish crackers count as seafood?

There is nothing about this dish that looks appetizing to me. It may be served with garlic butter, but to me this just looks like snails bathing in algae and oily swamp water.

4. English Accent

I was born in America. I have lived in America my entire life and I am proud of that … but I talk like an American. But I admit that I wish I had a natural English accent. I think no matter what someone says, it sounds better spoken like the Queen of England – smarter, more sophisticated with a little bit of pomposity thrown in.

5. Leaving Messages

Voicemail drives me crazy! I am much better at talking in person or on the phone, and I know I have left some terrible phone messages in my lifetime. I get all flustered when I hear that beep and my mind goes blank. I wish I could be cooler, more suave when talking to a machine.